Not sure who invented the phrase ‘down and out’ but I can
totally imagine what it means. I get it, I really do. That feeling that all is
lost. The empty feeling of internal vacuum. Yes, the wheel is turning but the
hamster is definitely dead. The feeling of seeing the world go on around you
and you’re just not invited to the party.
Being Nigerian (a fiercely proud one at that), there’s a
term called ‘Lagos money’. ‘Owo Eko’ in local parlance refers to living the
Lagos high life. Mooring your boat at an exclusive club close to Ozumba Mbaniwe
in Victoria Island, having a pool party on top of a roof in Lekki or watching
your friend participate in charity golf tourney in Ikeja. It’s one thing not to have
Lagos Money but I tell you, what you don’t want is to be stuck in Ilesha at the
back of a local forex shop with the ever present risk of Armed Robbers or
transporting farm produce in Birin-Kebbi for 1770 naira per day while you watch
others do the Lagos thing. That sucks, trust me! And can those silly Lagos boys rub
it in or what? Awon omo wobe!
Anyway, my point is this; the valley experience doesn’t feel
brilliant in anyway. I’ve been to churches over and over and heard people talk
about the beauty of adversity. “It builds your spiritual muscles”, “It helps
you discover yourself”, “God gives his biggest battles to his toughest generals”
bla bla. Leave me alone abeg, if that’s the deal, leave me as a colonel! Ok, I’ll
admit there’re lessons to be learnt but my point is there is no pleasant
feeling in the experience at all.
Brings me to the point of this piece, you can bounce back! Bouncebackability is a word coined by Ian
Dowie, the then Crystal Palace manager. Referring to getting back to winning
ways after his team had gone through a tough spell. There could be a thousand ways
to go about bouncing back and I don’t think I know all but one I know is resilience.
Keeping your eye on the goal. Jesus did it when He was going to get killed and so
should you when life wraps them sharp flesh tearing whips around you with
venom. Don’t give up though it’s the easiest thing to do. Very easy to do
actually.
A brilliant example in resilience is getting married. I don’t
have a miniature clue what the premarital era is like from a chic’s point of
view neither do I give a toss actually. However, from a guy’s point, it’s being
crazy about this girl who can do and get away with anything because you want to
marry her. Do you tell her the food has 28 and half kilos of ground-pepper,
heck no! Do you tell her she needs glasses when she steps on your toes with her
igunnu-masquerade-like heeled-shoes, of course you don’t. What do you do, you
smile and say “It’s ok sunshine” even though the pepper is doing a Usain Bolt across
your brain compartments and your leg is hurting like mad. Why do you smile?
Because you want to marry her. Get it? You play Jesus when He ‘for the joy set
before Him’ endured the hardship. You go through it all for what you want.
What you want is what you want. Keep at it till you get it.
Or you die. Whichever comes first but giving up is not an option.
If that Lagos girl went from selling bread to Lagos money, I’m
pretty sure you can do it from whatever dead end job you’re on. Despite the
horrible cousin-of-Satan boss or work colleague. Keep going. Use whatever tools
you have.
Oh, and talking about tools, there’s one I use. I call Him
God. That, however is another story altogether. The gist for now is keep going.
Don’t stop till you get there. Access your inner Bouncebackability.
